Apologies for the lengthy absence. The last month or so has been a rollercoaster, which is just starting to level out. So much has happened. I probably should have continued writing in a notebook or something as it’s really hard to write about it retrospectively and capture all the events, emotions, ups and downs. So basically, this is going to be a condensed version of events. To cut a long story short, I am now officially a Mama! Which is bittersweet to be honest. If you’ve read my previous post “Praying for a miracle” you will understand that I was carrying twins and know of the complications I had. As I was told, but I didn’t want to accept, my little boy didn’t make it.
He survived for 34 minutes on his own. In that time we had lots of cuddles and kisses, took some photos as a family but he eventually slipped away in my arms. The sweet side of the story is that I’ve still been blessed with a beautiful little girl who is now the love of my life and my everything.
It’s been difficult trying to grieve and say goodbye to my son but still having to be strong, keep going and be the best Mum I can be for my little girl. Having to plan his funeral has been heart-breaking. I keep thinking I shouldn’t be burying my child, it’s not fair. But I need to do this as part of my closure and so we can all move on as a family. I want things to be perfect for him so I’m making all the arrangements myself.
The wedding situation is at a complete standstill! With everything going on with the twins and burial plans and adjusting to life as a new mum, the wedding plans were swiftly kicked to the curb! So no progress, no venue, no nothing! Oh dear. With just over 12 months to go I’m starting to panic slightly but once the funeral is over I am going to be so on it!
So in a nutshell that’s where I am. I thought I would give you the bare bones of the story otherwise this post would have been a novel :-)
More updates on the Little Diva soon and hopefully exciting news on the wedding front (when I get started that is!)
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